tyleroakley
perfect-in-weakness:

ebony-and-ivory:

This is me, Eliza Thornberry, part of your average family. I’ve got a dad, a mom, and a sister. There is Donnie - we found him. And Darwin, he found us. Oh yeah, about our house - it moves, because we travel all over the world. You see, my dad hosts this nature show, and my mom shoots it. Okay, so we’re not that average. And between you and me, something amazing happened… and now I can talk to animals. It’s really cool, but totally secret. And you know what? Life’s never been the same. 

When you haven’t watched this show in literally 7 years and can still read this in your head in her exact voice, and remember what parts to emphasise…

perfect-in-weakness:

ebony-and-ivory:

This is me, Eliza Thornberry, part of your average family. I’ve got a dad, a mom, and a sister. There is Donnie - we found him. And Darwin, he found us. Oh yeah, about our house - it moves, because we travel all over the world. You see, my dad hosts this nature show, and my mom shoots it. Okay, so we’re not that average. And between you and me, something amazing happened… and now I can talk to animals. It’s really cool, but totally secret. And you know what? Life’s never been the same.

When you haven’t watched this show in literally 7 years and can still read this in your head in her exact voice, and remember what parts to emphasise…

falloutkylie
semiotickitten:

apiratenhisprincess:

4ngelo:

theodorepython:

miami-tea:


The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 
JESUS CRUST.
JAM IT!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

JESUS CRUST

To pay my respects, Ill be sure to place a flour on his grave.

I need this.

semiotickitten:

apiratenhisprincess:

4ngelo:

theodorepython:

miami-tea:

The Defibrillator Toaster

My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”

“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”

He’s bread, Jim.

Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M

If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 

JESUS CRUST.

JAM IT!

“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

JESUS CRUST

To pay my respects, Ill be sure to place a flour on his grave.

I need this.